Messed up a bit today. Don't know what's wrong. Actually I do know but I don't like admitting it. Accepting and admitting just make realization more painful. Therefore, I'm just trying to hide behind the safety of my own delusions and block out all the things that make my life messy and scary. Told Huma that it's all about finding a place to hide. I do think that's the truth but maybe not the complete truth.

Maybe I'm too busy hiding from the truth to actually know for sure what it is I'm hiding from. Like Shahid Hussain (Mr. Chiclet Teeth) said "How can you search for something when you don't know what you're searching for?" Hence (CHICKENS... shit Shani I miss you man!) how can I be hiding from something when I don't know what that something is? I really have no clue. And that makes me nervous too. Gives me palpitations everytime I think about not knowing my own fears. hmmmmmmm............

too much thinking.
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