Just when you figure you've finally gotten over your obsessive thinking and the resultant crap moods, they comes bounding back with a vengeance normally restricted to jilted former lovers and girls from convent schools. Then, although you were certain you had mastered the art of sleeping despite the rampant thoughts stampeding through your head, you can’t close your eyes for more than five seconds without seeing in graphic detail—full colour, cinemascope, Dolby Stereo Sound—your worst fears realized. Next up is a pain, not physical but weirdly psychosomatic, that rips through your mind—again, not physical ‘brain’ but the metaphysical ‘mind.’

Finally, the absence of sleep, the rampaging doubts and the itch that just can’t be scratched combine to lead you to blogging. Hence, this post!

I don’t even know if this catharsis is worth the effort but at this stage, after denying myself this avenue for the last few days, it seems it’s a last recourse. If this doesn’t work, shoot me, put a tag around my big toe and shove me in a freezer, ’cause, Folks, I’d much rather be frolicking around in Hades’ playground.

I’m not going to write about what’s in the head. I’ve discovered that baring my wounds to the world just calls in the scavengers. A strange breed of scavengers they be, too. They feed off the fake sympathy they dole out to poor miserable souls like myself. They’re the people who leave the comment telling you how they can relate and how they understand. They’re the ones who leave little adages and words of encouragement for you to chew on while you wallow in your misery. They’re the clichés in this world that play the same tape over and over again in the hope that someone somewhere will listen.

I’m sick of pretending I give a shit. I care about only a handful of people in this world. Those who’re amongst that handful know that they are. If you doubt for even a second whether you’re on that list, you’re not!

I like rambling. Rambling is fun.

So is messing around with the heads of poor, naïve all-girls-school-bred females who decide they’re smart, intelligent and mature women!