As pointed by a certain much-loved one, in my post about Lahore, I’d missed out on the Zoo. No, Xeb, it wasn’t because I forgot. It was because the Lahore Zoological Gardens, and our experience at them, deserve a special post all on their own.

The first time we ended up there was because the only Citibank ATM in all of Lahore was situated at Charing Cross on the Mall. Back then, it wasn’t Charing Cross to us though. It was a trip half-way across town on a Daewoo Bus which took about as long as a lecture at LUMS. It was an exercise in patience and lurch-control if you happen to have a violent sensitivity to body-odour. If you happen to love city-exploring as much as I do—discovering new routes, finding new places, discovering a unique bazaar in the middle of nowhere—it’s the best way to spend a blistering-summer Saturday afternoon. Air-conditioned buses are the only way to travel. The first time, obviously, you need to explain to the conductor that you have no idea where you’re headed and he must, absolutely must, drop you off at the Mall. He’s full of false assurances.

Somehow, though, you find yourself, post-lurch-impulse, outside a Citibank ATM with a gigantic Quran settled in a glass case behind you. You discover this to be the famous Mall Road intersection depicted on numerous Pak Studies book-covers. Don’t know what I mean? Never mind.

You also realize you’re close to the zoo. Obviously being the naïve klutzes that you are, instead of asking an innocent by-stander about the location of said Zoological Gardens, you ask a trustworthy Rickshawala. He promises to deposit you inside the very gates of the zoo in return for the measly sum of Rs.35 only. Having bartered down to a more reasonable 30, you haul your companion in for the ride that should, based on prior experience with rickshaw charges, last about 8-10 minutes. Two U-turns and 45 seconds later, you’re entering the above-mentioned gates as promised, passing in between elephantine statues of what awaits you.

Not being able to do much about being ripped-off since you were too stupid to begin with, you haul your butts inside fully prepared to be disappointed.

What waits inside the Lahore Zoological Gardens is something everyone should explore on their own. That is why I will not include it in these particular reminiscences. The Lahore Zoo is, if nothing spectacular and breath-taking, enough of an experience to atleast have once during a significantly prolonged stay in Lahore. I know of many who have spent their entire duration at college in Lahore without having been to any of the landmarks of the city. Those still there, whether hostelite or much denigrated Lahore, take my advice and make the trip—preferably on a scorcher of a weekend afternoon in Summer.

P.S. — Hand puppets, cotton candy, sliced carrots and lemonade vendors line the street going into the gates of the Zoo. They are all must-haves.

P.P.S — There’s no better way to explore Mall Road than on foot, post-Zoo-trip.

P.P.P.S. — Give Suzy money.

Travelers’ Guide — Rs.100/- in small change coins or notes will take you a long way.